There’s two different ways to get better at something. You can observe what the masters do and try to emulate them, or you can observe the unsuccessful people and do the opposite of what they do. This list would fall under the latter category:
Malcolm Gladwell proposed that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert at something, so you should probably go ahead and just put in zero hours just to be safe. After all, golf is supposed to be fun, and practice is simply not fun. Save your time and your money and just figure things out on the course. I’m sure that will work just fine.
Remember that time that you hit your 7-iron 200 yards? Ignore the fact that it was downhill, with the wind, and took 3 hops down the cart path; that’s definitely how far you’ll hit that club every time now. Bryson ain’t got nothing on you. Let it rip.
We just established how far you can crush your 7-iron, so surely you should be playing from the tips. You use the same clubs that the pros use, so the distance shouldn’t be any problem. Ignore what those silly course and slope ratings are recommending based on your previous scores. Today is a new day and you’re feeling good. Leave those forward tees for the cowards.
Split those 12 trees in front of you. Go for that 250 yard carry over the water off the tee. Aim right at that pin tucked behind the bunker. You don’t go low by playing it safe.
Your driver is the most expensive club in your bag, so what good is it if it stays in the bag? If you’re not hitting driver off every tee, you might as well pack it up and head home. Nobody remembers that time that they laid up and made a nice clean par. Watch your buddies look on with envy as you drive past where their drives ended up all the way up to where your ball crossed into the woods.
What’s the easiest way to make sure you don’t improve? Simply don’t track your progress! Fairways hit? Greens in regulation? Score history? Leave the stats to the nerds.
Don’t let others impede your path to failure. You don’t want to accidently pick up a tip from a friend, or even inadvertently improve your game because you’re getting invited out to play so often. The path to (un)success is a lonely one.